On ‘we got a baby that needed a home’
No. My son would have had a home with me. He did not NEED a home. What he needed (and it’s up for debate – may still need) were parents who were ready for a son. He needed someone who felt prepared to raise him.
His parents did not just get a baby. They got a lifetime of responsibility. They got a child, a growing mind, someone else tugging on their financial strings.
They did not ‘just get’ him. You get a carton of milk. You get a speeding ticket. They adopted him. (Well, theoretically that’s how this should work anyway.) Getting is usually done without much thought or effort. Adopting is an ongoing action.
So that was part 1 of my soap box today.
Part 2? The judgment I pass on people who have placed more than one child (in more than one placement – twins don’t count here!)
I admit it. I judge. For a long time, I thought ‘I could never place again, why would anyone put themselves in that situation a second time?’ Then I had an experience that caused me to buy a pregnancy test. That could have easily been me. I don’t know that I would have placed a second time. In reality, I do not feel strong enough to put myself through that hell again. The judgment, though, of those who have become accidentally pregnant again and placed, made the bigger choice a second time, seemed silly. They are doing what I do not feel I could be strong enough to do.
You women, who are not raising children you are not read to raise, who have made other people’s dreams come true repeatedly, are heroes. How dare I look down upon that?
With Love Always
(And today especially – Happy Bday to McK and Becoming a Mom Day to Monika)