Money and My Mother
Mom is currently not working. Well, ok she is kind of working. She works under the table for a local medical mj shop, and gets pd partly in med. Mj. This bothers me, but alas. She is also making money off her ‘medicine’ (that she won’t leave me alone about why don’t I partake). Great.
Most of you know I live with her and my little bro. We have 5 dogs and a cat. One of these dogs is slightly (highly!) neurotic and needs to be constantly stimulated or he barks incessantly. I understand this. I never would have brought this dog home if I knew this. Recently our neighbor reported us to animal control because of Charlie’s barking. I offered to find Charlie a new home, as I cannot afford a bark collar and the things that come with it. Plus, 5 dogs is kind of a lot and usually they are home alone. Ok for my older (sleepier) dogs, but Chuck is 3. He wants to play. As he is our family dog, my offer was denied. Instead, I had to fork over $60 to get his collar, license, etc.
Let me mention to you that I am broke. Very broke. Most times, between paychecks, my bank account goes into the negative. It sucks to live like this, but that’s how it is. I am thankful to have a job and all that jazz. This $60 cut into the money I have to pay bills with. She routinely spends my paycheck before I get it. She is paying less in bills than my bro and I (she is not paying rent, some agreement she worked out with our grandmother). She gets foodstamps.
I cannot take it anymore. I woke this AM to my cell phone turned off, due to being behind in the bill. Well no shit Sherlock. I am drowning. I think I am cancelling next year’s vacation pre-emptively. This hurts in a way I cannot explain. Two years without visiting home. Two years without seeing Monkey. Boyfriend is willing to help, but he is in much the same boat I am. It doesn’t feel like I will ever get out of this, no matter how badly I struggle.
I need to move out of Mom’s. That’s the first answer. Where to go though? How will I not feel badly that I know her and my brother cannot afford rent/utilities/etc without me? I am so ready for Boyfriend and I to get a place. I am ready to struggle with someone who is trying to get ahead, not stay where they are. He has to get out of school first, get a full time job.
Job. Another rant there. When I got this job I was promised a raise of 20% plus commission after my training was finished. That raise was taken away when they switched me to a department that does not make commission. I recently found out how much I would be making JUST on commission and it is as much as one of my paychecks. I should be making another 1200 a month (including the raise). I could MAKE IT on that. Instead, I am drowning. I took this job knowing I would have a hard few months ahead of me, but that there would be relief. Whoops. Oh, and the guy that promised me those raises was fired several months ago. How do I approach this with my new boss? That is almost double what I am making in a month. Holy crap.
With Love Always