Wednesday, September 21

I write in symbols.

It plays like a record, this song of broken faith. I’m the fool that always buys it; believes it, until it’s too late. The melody, it sounds of screeches, of screams, of lies I’ve learned to taste. There’s a certain flavor in a deceptive tongue, a certain tone to their eyes. I’ve always been their victim, full of hope and trust and tears.
I put all that behind me when I handed you years of possibility. There was a relationship, a cadence in our friendship. I had, for months, carried your hardest fought for dreams within me. I did, in an instant, make them come true. I thought I earned some loyalty, after all you had my soul. We laughed and smiled , a mask of the pain I was fighting.
But the record keeps on playing, a soundtrack to the struggles. I’ve tried to change the station, the tune, the beat. You have the controls, you take the lead. Days turn into weeks, weeks to months. There is no way to rewind this record, no stop once it starts. I still reach for your approval, struggle for some clarity.
I don’t know what I’ve done for you to shut me out, shut me down. I’ve begged for your forgiveness; let you take the high ground. There is no other option for I am at your mercy. Were this just a battle of wills, of my desire to protect my happiness, I would let you go. This is so much more than that, there’s a child who  has our hearts.

I know not the language you sing in, but I fell the measure you hum. From the soul we both march, different paths, the same drum. I'd be your right hand woman, but that hand is too full of fear. How do I break that grip, restore a trust so deeply divided? I was willing to do anything, your decisions changed my life. 

I will be here when you come back to me, like a groupie, your biggest fan. I'm watching from the sidelines now, the only hope I have left. Universally I want your happiness, specifically your success. Let me know when you want me again, I am wishing  you the best. 

With Love Always

1 comment:

  1. Wow. That's beautiful and amazing. You should send that to her.