What is adoption?
It is the most loving thing you could do.
It is beautiful family making.
It is selflesss.
It is rainbows and butterflies.
It is the most cruel thing you could do to a child, to abandon it in the days after thier birth.
It is selfish.
It is shameful.
It is the easy way out.
I see the look on your face. Neither of these definitions are true, not completely.
Adoption is a beautiful trauma. It is simultaneously the most amazing and worst journey I have ever been on. It's deeply scaring and yet somehow it helps me to rebuild. It's the secret that I want to tell the world about.
Adoption is the days where I wish this was his reality:
Yes, sometimes I want to see her, them, fail. I want to know that B needs me. I'd die for just one text that says 'he looks/acts/walks/breathes just like you', just one acknowledgment of the connection.
Yet he looks like his mom, and I am glad. I don't want there to be questions for his whole life about why he is 'different'.
Adoption has made me a bigger, better, deeper person.
It has also taken away some of my soul, but I would sacrifice that every day forever for this little man.
With Love Always,