Wednesday, March 2


After that last post, I have felt a huge sense of peace. I know I have a long, hard road ahead of me still, but it is good to be at a point where I know what I am fighting for.
Irony seems to run in my life, right? Well as soon as I finished writing that last post, a good friend (J, we shall call him) texted me. We proceeded to have a 2 hour long rambling conversation in which he said this:

 I respect you and I am so proud of the choice you had to make, but I understand your pain. Honey, I'm adopted and I wish so much that my mother cared one ounce of what you care for Blake.

 For the record, it should be illegal to tell me things like that at 2 am, when I have JUST had a meltdown. I stared at my phone for probably a minute before I knew how to respond. I said the only thing I could, that I would bet she does love him.
I knew I was wearing the birthmother hat online, but it has crossed into real life. I cant decide if I should go and hug him for the sake of him being my friend, because I am a birthmom, or both. I haven't had much of a chance to discuss this with him. 

So be it right, I come to peace with one decision and something else pops up. This does explain, however, his awesome reaction when I first told him about B.  

With Love Always


  1. Hmmmm...I bet I know who "J" is. And yes, it does explain his totally awesome reaction. I think you reacted to his statement the only way you could and it was the only thing you could really say. You know how his momma feels about him even if she's never gotten the chance (by choice or otherwise) to tell him how she feels. I think you should hug him for both reasons. As long as he (and you) can handle it.

    As far as being at peace with one major thing and then having another thing pop up goes, I'm convinced that's just life. At least sometimes. Makes it interesting! :-)

  2. Oh and btw...I'm SO glad you have a peace about your decision! That will make all the inevitable hurt just a bit easier to handle.

  3. You know who I am talking about and it now explains WHY he feels the connection with me. I am glad to have found peace. I know that this is the right answer, just as I knew adoption was the right answer.

  4. sometimes I feel that me telling others in real life that I am a birthmom is therapy for others. lol there have been several instances in airports where I'm next to a family that obviously a blended/adopted family and it sparks up convos or me saying something without thinking about my daughter and they usually ask where she is if she is not there with me, and so I tell them, and 95% of the time I get hugs and thank-yous. I think for some of them that don't know who their child's birthmom is, like in international adoptions, just meeting someone who is a birthmom and being able to thank them helps them continue on and express their love for the one they can not. Its like we are the stand-ins/surrogates for them.
    Even with some actual adoptees, they see my love for my daughter and I've been asked if they think that their birth mom also felt/feels the same way.. Now there have been a few cases where the adoptee just gives me the evil eye and such, but I don't ever let that bother me and I feel sorry for them because they must have had it tough or been fed lies, or may have a rocky unhealthy relationship with their bio moms..

    I think showing J some love is a great thing and may help him to realize that he was/is loved and wanted.