After that last post, I have felt a huge sense of peace. I know I have a long, hard road ahead of me still, but it is good to be at a point where I know what I am fighting for.
Irony seems to run in my life, right? Well as soon as I finished writing that last post, a good friend (J, we shall call him) texted me. We proceeded to have a 2 hour long rambling conversation in which he said this:
I respect you and I am so proud of the choice you had to make, but I understand your pain. Honey, I'm adopted and I wish so much that my mother cared one ounce of what you care for Blake.
For the record, it should be illegal to tell me things like that at 2 am, when I have JUST had a meltdown. I stared at my phone for probably a minute before I knew how to respond. I said the only thing I could, that I would bet she does love him.
I knew I was wearing the birthmother hat online, but it has crossed into real life. I cant decide if I should go and hug him for the sake of him being my friend, because I am a birthmom, or both. I haven't had much of a chance to discuss this with him.
So be it right, I come to peace with one decision and something else pops up. This does explain, however, his awesome reaction when I first told him about B.
With Love Always