Lent

Yes, I jumped on the lent bandwagon. This year, I give up feeling guilty. I am sure this means I will find guilt where I did not expect it. For now, it means I can not feel guilty for placing B. I cannot feel guilty for contemplating getting him back. I will not feel guilty (and scared) that his wants and needs could be lost in a big family. 

I know this sounds simple. I also know giving up the guilt will help me grow as a person, as a friend, and as a birthmom. I tend to try and hide my feelings, I hope this helps me to express them a bit more. 

Those of you that follow me on twitter (deb2go), call me out on it if I start relapsing. I will tell you now, I feel guilty for being able to get pregnant so easily while I know many of you fight every day for that experience. I feel guilty for 'giving away' my child, when I know so many of you would give anything for that chance. For 40 days, I will do what I can to no longer feel guilty, and instead feel beautiful as someone who allowed my adoptive mom friends to be MOMS!

With Love Always

Me