I started this post as something completely different, but then someone said something to me and I needed to react in a place that would not hurt them.
We were discussing what my role in B's life may (or may not) be when I move and my fear that I might be shut out. His answer was 'Well you're the strongest person I know you will get through this and whatever happens does have a reason and something good will come out of it.'
No. Hold the bus. There is NO reason for me to be shut out of the life of my B. None. Trying to placate me and say something like this is ridiculous. Something good will come out of it? Really? What good will come of me not being in his life? Anything? I can't think of a single thing. This friend is really really close to being cut out of my life. I am scared enough already, I cannot deal with stupidity. Just this one response has me nauseous. Maybe not being in his life would be a good thing for him?
I am already at a point where I do not want to move anymore. I would rather be here, head in the sand, than there so close but so far. Maybe I am just scared for nothing. I hope I am just scared for nothing. Being a birthmom is hard.
With Love Always