I posted a bit ago that most adoptive moms I know have incredible respect for their child's birth families. I would stretch this to adoptive families, but I do not know many adads. They shall be included in this post anyway, because I do not see any of the amoms I know putting up with a disrespectful adad.
It is easy, as a birthmom, to get sucked into the world of hating adoption. There are many birthmoms who 'regret' their decision, felt coerced into adoption or some other negative. They have a right to feel this way. They have a right to feel however they want to about adoption and anything else under the sun. I even feel like I made the wrong choice some times. What I did not expect to find were adoptive families that shared in this grief with the birthmom/family. I have 'met' (online, usually) adoptive moms who wonder what could have been done to keep their (adopted) child with it's birthfamily. This amazes me. Many waited YEARS for their child, yet they are selfless enough to wonder if this is what is best for the kid and they LOVE the birthmom/family enough to think these thoughts. I have met adoptive families that rejoiced, through their tears, when birthmom decided not to place. This blows me away. It is very similar to the selflessness that any person must feel when placing their child. They want what is best for that baby no matter how it makes them feel.
Adoption is love. I don't think that gets said enough. The whole triad is love and faith and hope and so much. It is so easy to get caught up in the heartache, even for me.
With Love Always