Sunday, February 13

A Rant

I don't know if it's PMS, stress, the fact that Erik left yesterday on his cross country drive/move back to Va or what, but suddenly, I have this rant. Forgive me. I tend to be offended by stupid things, this may just be one of them.

I am searching Etsy for adoption related stuff. I was hoping to come across maybe adoption language birthday cards (from birthmom, mostly) and other cool things. Instead, I keep running across this quote
"Not flesh of my flesh
Or bone of my bone
But still miraculously
My own.
Never forget,
For a single minute
That you didn't grow under my heart
But in it."

Cute. Sweet. Pissed me off. I found a wall applique of this, designed for the child's bedroom. I fully believe in any child knowing honestly where they came from, from the beginning. I also think that where someone came from should not be something they are reminded of daily. I hope that my child forgets sometimes that he was adopted, feels like he has a 'normal' family. I do not want, every night before bed, him to be reminded that I could not raise him. I never want him to forget, for a single minute, that his families love him with all of their beings.

Then there were the bible verses that basically said 'save a child from the life they would have with birthfamily, adopt.' Like a punch in the gut. B would have been fine had I raised him. H & T did not save him as much as they saved me from the choices I would have been forced to make and sacrifices that B would have deserved and caused in my life. I came across a note that someone is adopting a child from a tent city in Haiti. All I imagine when I hear that is someone ripping the child from it's mother. I know this is probably not the case. I just feel like anyone adopting to 'save' a child is doing it for all of the wrong reasons. Adoption is about building families, bringing people together for the sake of love.

And the fridge magnet that says 'I'm special because I was adopted. I am glad you chose me'? Don't get me started on how stupid and offensive that is. You are special because you are YOU. You should not have to be glad your parents 'chose' you. Just gut wrenchingly wrong. I dont know if I should email the seller or just let it go.

Lastly, the onesies that say 'I am adopted' or whatever. I dont know, I guess they have a place. I just don't know that I would have supported my son being labeled. Yes, he is adopted. He is also beautiful, perfect, smart, and amazing. On one hand, the openness that a family must have to put their child in an outfit such as that is awesome. On the other, let them be kids, not the face of something.

Am I crazy? Over reacting? I know I have both birthmoms and adoptive moms out there who read this, so lemme know from both sides.

With love always


  1. hehe Mad Deb is even more adorbs!;) I would never buy anything like said mention adoption things for Lillian...But (always a but with me) I do love the flesh bone thing.. I have it on my fb and my blog.. But I would never for a second have it for Lillian to see every day and remind her of her adoption! Just like my reasoning for switching her Doctor that reminded her every visit that she was adopted.(dr was an idiot and didn't know how to read fing files0:))
    I think your rant was good and important! If I found out that something was in Cody's room our bought for him I would flip my LID! You raise many a question and thought for me on the subject! <3

  2. I agree completely. With everything you said. I love that poem thing, but I don't think a child should have it practically shoved in his (or her) face every day that he or she is adopted. They already know even if you don't tell them. They know something's "different." Keep ranting! :-)