HELP

I am writing a submission for another website and just need to know if this is even cohesive and logical. I may still be very hung over and tired from last night! (MONIKA! <3) Italics are what I am submitting.


For a boy of only 3, you have quite a story. Any attempt to write it all down will be like a polariod picture of an HD film. I am ok with that, I just need to put this all down.
My son, you are loved more than anyone could ever tell you. I know EVERYONE says that about their children, but you truly are. When we made the decision to place you with another family, I made sure of that. Your biodad and I are on the same page with that. 
I am sorry, deeply, painfully sorry, that I could not see through your adoptive mom (Mom)'s lies. I kick myself every day now for it. We hand picked that family for you. They are a big family. You have no shortage of siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. You deserve that. Even before the whole of you would fill the face of a quarter, I knew that. 
I just received the news that your parents are divorcing,that Mom has lied her whole marriage about her feelings for Dad. I am sorry. I never wanted a single parent family for you. I missed out on having a dad growing up, I know the value of having two adults around at all times to love and cherish you.I know that two incomes are better and easier than one. We placed you because we were still weak in our relationship and wanted you raised by a mature, loving rock solid marriage. That was a sham. 
I know that your family (families now, since they are split?) still love you dearly. My son, my child, I am wrestling with myself to not fight for custody of you. Your Mom has recently displayed violent tendancies. I can not, with a clear concious, leave you in that situation.Please forgive me come what may. There is no loger a winning answer here. Your Dad, he adores you, as do your sisters and brother. I hate with a passion that I am thinking of doing this to you. I just do not know how anyone can raise 5 children as a single parent. I wish there was a crystal ball for me to shake, to see what the right answer is. I wish I could trust the woman I picked to raise you, the woman that was there for all of your ultrasounds, your birth, your firsts. 
I am having problems trusting myself at all. The decision to place you was one thing I was solid in. I knew I had done what was right. Except now? Even that is shaky.


Ok, Draft #2 -- says the same thing, but I like having both to see how this grows



For a boy of only 3, you have quite a story. Any attempt to write it all down will be like a polariod picture of an HD film. I am ok with that, I just need to put this all down.
My son, you are loved more than anyone could ever tell you. I know EVERYONE says that about their children, but you truly are. When we made the decision to place you with another family, I made sure of that. Your biodad and I are on the same page with our longing for your perfect future. 
I am sorry, deeply, painfully sorry, that I could not see through your adoptive mom (Mom)'s lies. I kick myself every day now for it. We hand picked that family for you. They are a big family. You have no shortage of siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. Even before the whole of you would fill the face of a quarter, I knew you deserved that. 
I just received the news that your parents are divorcing,that Mom has lied her whole marriage about her feelings for Dad. I am sorry. I never wanted a single parent family for you. I missed out on having a dad growing up, I know the value of having two adults around at all times to love and cherish you.I know that two incomes are better and easier than one. We placed you because we were still weak in our relationship and wanted you raised by a mature, loving rock solid marriage. That marriage we trusted so much in was a sham. 
I know that your family (families now, since they are split?) still love you dearly. My son, my child, I am wrestling with myself to not fight for custody of you. Your Mom has recently displayed violent tendencies. I can not, with a clear conscience, leave you in that situation.Please forgive me come what may. There is no loger a winning answer here. Your Dad, he adores you, as do your sisters and brother. I hate with a passion that I am thinking of doing this to you. I just do not know how anyone can raise 5 children as a single parent. I wish there was a crystal ball for me to shake, to see what the right answer is. I wish I could trust the woman I picked to raise you, the woman that was there for all of your ultrasounds, your birth, your firsts. 
I am having problems trusting myself at all. The decision to place you was one thing I was solid in. I knew I had done what was right. Except now? Even that is shaky.



Thanks!
With Love Always
Me