Sunday, January 16

Current: A conversation between Erik and I

Erik and I were just discussing his willingness to help his friends with their children and how that bothers me. He has not 'met' Blake since he was an infant. His relationship with T is strained. I encourage him to work on it. This was his reaction

Me: You have done more for other people's kids, put more effort into those relationships than your relationship with B. 
Erik: Blake has a dad. It's not really a big deal.
Me: Blake has 2 dads. One just choses to try and forget his existance.
Erik: O. Yeh. Last time I checked I wasn't welcome there. I at least want to be there if he has any questions. 

I have no idea how to respond to that. My heart is breaking. Erik has distanced himself because he DOESN'T see himself as B's 'dad' by any description. I have tried to encourage him to be in B's life. I don't know what to do now. 

With Love Always
Me
at

2 comments:

  1. WaitingVickyJanuary 19, 2011 at 1:17 AM

    I was just thinking about your situation. You carried Blake, Erik didn't. Don't most fathers bond with the babies after they are born? Maybe he honestly doesn't know how to feel any connection?

    Just hypothesizing, I really don't know what's going on in his head obviously! The way I see it, Blake can have two dads and be so much more blessed for it! It must be frustrating not being able to get that through to Erik- about the difference he could make if he just tried.

    I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Stay strong, lovely lady

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  2. DebbieJanuary 27, 2011 at 9:03 PM

    You might be 100% correct. I know we experience this differently, but I just do not understand how Erik can say it hurts him that he has never met HIS biodad, but stay so distant from B.

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