Tuesday, February 7

It's Just Too Much

First, stop and begin playing Poison's 'Something to Believe In'.
Now then, read.

I was just regaining the ability to trust that his brother (Useless) broke. I was just working my way out of thinking that all men are evil. Then it happened.
The call that told me Useless' brother had been arrested for forcible sodomy. (He is now known as Ofcr Brother). I took a big step back in all of that growth, learning, trust. It hit me like a ton of brick, but bricks I had been watching fall.
I got the call yesterday that Ofcr. Brother has several more similar charges pending. How does this happen? How does he go from EMT, volunteer for the county, to criminal, sex offender? (For the record, I do believe he is guilty.) He was supposed to be the good egg in the family, the one who told me to never let Useless treat me badly. Heh. Thought there was goodness to believe in.
What is it about the way those two grew up that taught them to be power hungry abusers? Womanizers? That a penis somehow makes them 'more than', my vagina making me 'less than'? I just cannot understand it.
What does the ratio of lives he saved (as an EMT) to lives he has scarred mean? Anything? Logically I know it doesn't, but I can't get that out of my mind.
I grieve the person I lost, rage against the monster that he has revealed. I was just learning to trust people. He broke it. Why must people be so evil?
With Love Always

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