Thursday, July 7


(If you can't handle my soul bearing, quit reading. Tonight has been supernatural)
Not many of you know the story of Nikki, my Nichole. She was the first real friend I ever had. Her mom saved me from myself many times -- she was the first person I ever told I had been molested. When her mom told my mom, my mom's reaction was 'Don't tell her father, he will fucking kill J (the man that molested me)' That was the beginning of the end. Nikki's mom did tell my dad. That was the day mom forbade us from seeing each other, and let me tell you, at 8 years old that shit is traumatic. It was - hell. No other words. My safe place was gone. Mom was dating J. Then Nikki and her family moved, as military families are apt to do.
I accidentally found them on facebook. Tonight. They are within an hour of me. The whole globe -- the whole damn globe -- and they are HERE. She remembers me. It's like I've found a sister I lost 15 years ago. I can't stop looking at her pictures, wondering what memories she has made. The tears, well they are to be expected.
THIS is why I could not leave this state. THIS is it.
Her little sister told me she may be on drugs. Her mom had brain surgery to 'cure' her epilepsey, except it didn't work. It made it worse. B, the youngest girl who was not 3 the last time I saw her, has been to jail 3 times. And still, there is the relief of finding family.

With Love ALWAYS


  1. Wow. Makes so much sense now! I'm glad you found your family again! <3

  2. Wow wow wow! That is an incredible amazing crazy story. I feel like you are the angel that will be brought into their lives! What a chance of a life time! I'll be thinking of you! Can't wait to hear about it!