Friday, March 25

Is this reality?

T told me this morning that she wants nothing to do with me. I am still numb. She was under the assumption that I was going to take B back. I understand that she feels the need to protect her family. I very much appreciate it. I just don't understand how she could think I would do that to her for any reason other than an absolute last choice. Or to B.
I am now the enemy of my son's family. I don't even know how to relate to that. This was my response to her:

When I found out about the divorce I was scared, yes. I didn't know what was best for Blake. I never once said I was going to take him. I told E that if it came down to it, if the kids had to be split up for some reason, something dumb, that I wanted custody before he went to someone not family. He has been your son since the minute he was born and you know that. Yes, I miss him.Yes, it hurts still but I know with all of me that you are his mom, H his dad and his brothers and sisters just that. There is nothing I could ever do or say to change that and I never want to. Trust me or not, trust in that. Trust my love for that boy above and beyond anything I could ever want.

Her response? Well it will all be taken care of soon enough and it won't be up to you what is in his best interest. Did you honestly think that I would have split my kids up?

I said 'No, I didn't, but I was scared.' She did not respond.

My final message about ripped me apart to write, but it had to be said.
'If you don't want to hear from me I respect that, just know that I love you all and I will be here if you change your mind.'

I just don't know anymore. What did I do to deserve this, other than love B?

With Love Always



  1. :( Ouch. I honestly do not know what to other than I am sorry. It sounds like she is in a really bad place emotionally, and she is striking out at things that she perceives may hurt her or her family even more. When people are already emotional they sometimes go into mama bear mode.

    Hopefully she will be able to take a step back and realize you don't want to tear her family apart more. Hopefully she will take B's interests into heart before she doesn't something out of the heat of emotion.

    :( Sending good warm thoughts your way.

  2. Thank you. This is so not like her, so I know it comes from fear. I just do not know how to help quiet her fear. She is (was?) family.

  3. I am stunned and horrified at her actions. I'm so sorry. :( I hope she comes to her senses when things calm down.

  4. Oh Debbie. My heart is hurting for you. (((Hugs)))

  5. I'm with Coley and Amber. It's killing me inside to know what this is doing to you. I hope and pray with everything that I am that she comes to her senses. I think you said the right things (and I know you meant them!). My only hope is that she'll realize you have no intention of ripping her family apart and that she'll allow you to be a part of B's least somehow. *hugs*